I hope to be reading from the It Notebook this coming Friday, April 8, 2011, at the Mouthful Reading Series, 99 Bishop Allen Drive, Cambridge, MA at 7:30pm, which is an open mic. There will be a featured reader and then the rest is open mic. I will be signing up for the open mic section. I hope to get a ten-minute slot. I will be reading a brief introduction followed by some excerpts. I already have my reading planned out. I timed it and it’s eight minutes, meaning that I will plan for ten (just in case I’m slow). I will bring the actual It Notebook, just for show, but will read off a paper printout, not from the Notebook itself, in the interest of time. There will be maybe 10 open mic readers, I’m guessing.
It’s very brave of me to be doing this I think. It’ll be the first time since October that I’ve participated in a reading of any sort. That was back before I wrote I am So Cold, and Hungry in My Soul for National Novel Writing Month in November. In October, I never dreamed any of the things that catapulted me into writing the It Notebook would happen.
When I wrote I am So Cold, and Hungry in My Soul, I never dreamed that any of the things that happened to May could possibly happen to me. Yes, I have an eating disorder. But I never realized that I could possibly have so many losses. When I wrote my Nano book, I wrote about a woman who loses everything because I felt as though I had gained everything. Then, in December, I suddenly lost my sanity, and with it, so much else. The It Notebook is about living with the loss of my sanity, and the loss of many other things that were dear to me.
So I will be reading from the It Notebook, stating that I started the Notebook January 28th, about a month after I relapsed (December 21) and ended it March 28th. The readings will contain several from February and then some from the end of the Notebook stating that I am now focusing on my eating disorder. I am not ending with any kind of concluding paragraph. The reading stands as is.
I would like to write an introduction and epilogue to the Notebook at some point, but I think I need some perspective on things first. Maybe I need to wait a month or so before writing these pieces, but not much more, because I want the feelings to still be fresh, alive, and in my heart.
This will probably be the only time I’ll read aloud in public from the It Notebook, but you never know. I may surprise myself. Let’s see how it goes. Friday is still three days away. See you there.