The Feelings Box, opened

Today I unlocked the Feelings Box and opened it wide.  I dared to do this because I knew there were not very many feelings stored in it to begin with.  For a long time, I didn’t feel very many feelings.  So I didn’t have many feelings to put into the box, anyway.

Now, I feel many feelings.  I have a rush of them.  Sometimes, I wake up in the night with feelings.  Sometimes, I cry and cry until my nose bleeds.  I cry on the bus all the time.  I cry because I feel feelings now.  They are good feelings and bad feelings.  Mostly, I feel sadness.  Mostly, I grieve.

It is a good thing that I feel my feelings now.  Or I guess it is.   I’m told that it’s better to have sad feelings than to have no feelings at all.

So I opened the box wide, and took out the ribbon that is inside the box.  It is a “Puzzle” ribbon.  It has puzzle pieces printed on it.  I don’t know what that means, except that I love my dog, I guess.  I took the ribbon out of the box.  It didn’t feel like it really symbolized anything in particular.  It was just a piece of ribbon with puzzle pieces on it.

I didn’t feel anything when I opened the box.  I think the feelings that were in the box were so tiny and weak that they didn’t even compare to the enormous feelings that I feel now.

I put the ribbon back into the box, closed it, and locked it up.  I guess the tiny feelings went off somewhere.  I don’t care where they went.

Usually, I forget to carry tissues with me on the bus, and when I cry, I have to wipe my eyes and nose with my sleeve.   Sometimes, my tears get all over my glasses.  I don’t cry on the subway.   Subways suck for crying.  Trust me, I’ve tried it already.  I know.

Feedback and comments welcome!