I am always so deeply sad

I am always so deeply sad and grieving
There has been so much loss since the race
I am not the person I was
Funny how life can change overnight

But there is one thing I want to say:
I grieve.  I grieve.  I grieve.  There has been so much loss
Since I left the hospital
And I have told not a soul
Or, shall I say, I have told horrendous lies
To a number of people
I do not want to feel.

I do not want to feel.
I do not want to feel.
I do not want to feel.
I do not want to feel.
I do not want to feel.

So I don’t.

It.

One thought on “I am always so deeply sad”

  1. Julie,
    THIS is exactly what you must address! Avoiding one’s deepest emotions for too long is like cutting out your soul, but wondering why life feels so shitty all the time.

    Please hear me begging you not to give up. You are in the throes of a major depression.

    You are a special, unique, very creative woman, and life is too short to toss it away.

    MAZ

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