I wonder if my life is really worth living…the way things are now. I try to just “be happy,” and I cannot. Everything breaks my heart and my heart is broken. It feels like my heart will never be fixed.
It feels like It has become an entity, a person, a thing, a force, a power, a presence, a being, someone who is always with me. It has wants and desires, and is capable of acting, cruel acts specifically toward me. It has the power to control my thoughts. And that’s a lot of power. I thought I controlled my thoughts. Well, no more.