According to my records, I am eating more now than I was before entering the hospital. I have been eating up to 75% of what I’m supposed to be eating according to the meal plan set out for me by the nutrition staff at the hospital, which is a good percentile. I may have gained several pounds, but it’s hard to tell. My weight seems to vary from day to day more than it used to. I’m not certain as to why this is except that I have been drinking copious amounts of water at times.
So far, I kind of like it. I like the meal plan because it is very simple and easy to follow. It is the same meal plan they had me on in the hospital–no surprises there. Frequently, I eat a meal and find that I am way too full, but this is to be expected, I have been told, after one has been restricting one’s intake over a long period. I tend to skip the next meal if this happens, though. I don’t like feeling way too full.
There are two allotted snacks, one in the afternoon and one at bedtime. This makes sense because breakfast and lunch are larger than dinner. My experimentation and experience tells me that contrary to popular belief, it will not give you any ill effects to eat late in the day. It doesn’t matter when you consume your food–intake is intake.
You should not go to bed on a completely empty stomach, and whoever told you to do so was simply misguided. If you do, you’re likely to a) wake up in the middle of the night starving, and eat, b) wake up starving and weak first thing in the morning, or c) who’s kidding whom? you might eat anyway, or binge, before you even hit the sack. I have not binged since getting out of the hospital, and feel the reason for this is that I am eating more, not letting myself get hungry at night, and having a structured, planned snack at night, instead of grabbing the first thing I see in the refrigerator.
What has caused this change in me? Why am I eating now? Have I turned the corner?
I don’t know. I might be going through a “phase.” But today I went to the gym and felt very strong and secure in my body. I didn’t feel like I was using up the last reserves of fuel that I had, and I didn’t feel like I immediately had to go out and get an energy bar to replenish myself. That’s a start. I know I’m not supposed to be exercising, but I am. At least I’m not overdoing it.
Eating rocks. Try it.