My therapist wants me to go to a two-week “partial” program. Thankfully, according to my therapist, insurance wouldn’t pay beyond two weeks–I would hope! At this program, they would force-feed me by making me sit in a group at a table and watch me eat, then watch me for a half hour to make sure I don’t throw it up (I have NEVER thrown up and don’t know how). Then I would have to go to “groups” all day long, from 9am to 3pm, to be brainwashed. Then I would get to go home. I looked up on our local transit site to find out if I could get to this “program” by public transportation, and I can. But can you tell that I really don’t want to go? I don’t know if I would even agree to going to an intake. I know I wouldn’t agree to going to such program if it interfered with my stand-up comedy class in any way. I don’t like the idea of leaving Puzzle by herself all day for two weeks. I suppose I could leave her at day care at Pooch Palace, a wonderful facility here in Watertown, but I could only afford a couple of times a week.
The more I think about it, the more I regret having told my therapist I would “consider” this program. Why did I tell her that? Do I really want to be force fed, to feel full and uncomfortable all the time, and sit and talk in silly groups all day long when I could be home writing and doing the things I love? I have such a full life. Do I really want to waste my time doing this?