I have been bingeing on and off since Wednesday night, which is when I wrote about the binge here. Thursday I did not eat at all; Friday I ate sparsely until I got home from Dr. P’s, then I binged, and I just had a binge now. Okay, so I binged three times since Wednesday.
This is not good. If the trend continues, I may become suicidal. The bingeing life is not a life worth living. I have lived with bingeing and I do not wish to live with it again.
“IF the trend continues….” So. If I tell my therapist about this, it’s like I’m threatening suicide, isn’t it? She can hospitalize me just for saying this. So I’d better keep it to myself, eh?
But I need the bingeing to stop immediately. So that I don’t have to die. I guess I’m all alone with this. If I tell Dr. P or my therapist just how desperate I am to get the bingeing under control, I’ll be hospitalized. And the hospital is DEFINITELY not the answer.