Hi readers,

I wrote this as part of my thesis today.  It’s a part of a huge section on the life of QB.  It’s written in diary form.  Here’s the ending:

May 5, 2007

I am at the tail end of another spending spree, this time it’s digital photography stuff I can’t afford. All to take photos of Puzzle.

Everyone loves Puzzle.

Puzzle is cute.

Puzzle, my Schnoodle, is “normal,” not “crazy.”

QB’s been on my mind lately. I look back on those last days with him, and shudder. I see it all as a chapter of my life, a chapter that now I am both relieved and sad to have finished.

With every photo I take of Puzzle, I find myself wishing I’d taken more photos of QB. More and more.

I miss you, Joe. I miss hanging out in your van together, sipping iced coffee, with Tiger in the back seat. Sometimes, we forgot she was there; she was so quiet.

We’d turn around and look back at her. She wouldn’t move her head; just her eyes would turn.

I’ve been crying tonight. Every neuron that fires inside my brain, with the thrill of having spent another dollar (or many dollars), counteracts the neurons that fire sadness, guilt, and devastation.

Imagine boiling down our feelings to neurons.

Feedback and comments welcome!