Mutual respect….

Some people are helped by AA and some are not. I think these groups need to show respect for each other instead of putting each other down. A lot of people are turned off by the God part and those that are into AA need to realize that the God part might not sit very well with some people. On the other hand, non-God people need to realize that some people are really helped by religion. I am tired of hearing atheists rant on and on about anti-religion or try to push atheism onto others. That, to me, is contradictory.

Likewise, some people are helped by mindfulness and others are not. Those of us who see it as a way to discourage activism need to realize that some people really are helped by it. On the other hand, those who are helped by it need to realize that the fact that I find mindfulness offensive isn’t a mental illness.

People who are turned onto mindfulness need also to realize it’s not for everyone. Just like religion isn’t for everyone. My refusal to engage in mindfulness practices isn’t a deficiency but a strength.

Changed the theme to my blog

No, it’s still the same blog. I just did something internal to WordPress since I saw on their forums that some iOs users cannot access certain WordPress sites due to a theme conflict. I was using a normal WordPress theme, but I switched to a different normal WordPress theme. The only difference that you folks will see is that the sidebar is on the other side, which I can always change…but I thought I would do things differently for a while.

Apparently the only users having trouble were those who used Safari on self-hosted sites. The problem remains unsolved according to the forum, but I am trying a change in theme as one forum user suggested.

ECT news!

Here is some terrific news on the ECT frontlines:

ECT Litigation Update: Are Patients Being Warned of Brain Damage Risk?

Atty David Karen and DK Law represented the patients in California who had been harmed. This victory was underplayed in the media, which I could have predicted. Big money is at stake here and the ECT-mongers do not want you to know about this!

Go to the link, where you can find instructions for filing a case. Please do. They’re now saying no matter when it was done to you, you can file.


So now they’ve finally figured it out? As I have said before, mindfulness is a crock….

Only I’ve been saying the same thing for years. Probably since 2005 or so.

That was when my therapist insisted that I “radically accept” that my weight had doubled on Seroquel. She suggested this, rather than encouraging me to do anything about it (like getting off the harmful pill!).

She kept telling me that same ole mantra, “One day at a time.” Yeah, that’s easy enough to read that one out of a textbook, isn’t it?

At that point, I knew that her insistence on “acceptance” was nothing but an attempt to keep me silent and inactive. It was a way of her saying, “I don’t know what to do so you’re going to just have to put up with it.” Or possibly, “Your unhappiness with massive weight gain is a mental illness.”

It wasn’t. I knew I was continuing to gain and gain at a rapid rate. One knee had given out and the other was threatening to give out very soon. I was unable to stand up, unable to walk, and couldn’t get out of the house. I used a wheelchair but the sides of the wheelchair had broken because I had gotten too big for it. Anyone who thought that was a mental illness was seriously deluded.

What would happen if I gained more? What if I ended up weighing 300 pounds, or more? I was supposed to accept that, too? And do nothing?

Her idea of acceptance didn’t include getting off Seroquel. It wasn’t in her head. It was in mine, one day, almost by magic since I worshiped those “professionals” like they were gods. I guess the idea was a threat, a threat to them, but I had to do it.

Did I really need 900 mgs of Seroquel per day? Does anyone? Demanding that I “accept” my situation instead of acting was keeping me on drugs that were killing me.

That was 2005. Since then, I was cautious whenever anyone mentioned “mindfulness.” I felt distrustful after that. One time, I purchased a book on mindfulness and found it so insulting that I was sure it wasn’t for me.

If you see mindfulness as a tool being used by psychiatry and others in power to keep us silent, then you realize that this shouldn’t turn into a value system, either. There’s no validity to demeaning another person because of their “lack of mindfulness.”

These days, I intentionally do things as mindlessly as possible to defy those standards. I make popcorn and eat it at the computer, for instance. What do you do to defy the mental health gurus?


How to buy vitamins for cheap

I heard a talk by Eva Edelman (remember her books?) who said that when she works with impoverished populations she has to take into account that her clients don’t have any extra money to purchase vitamins and other helpful things. She said that her organization purchased Vitamin C from the dollar store and then, handed it out to people for free.

When you are on a very fixed income you likely cannot spend tons of money on vitamins and herbs. Here are some common-sense ways to save:

Buy in bulk! Buy your herbs in bulk rather than buying tea bags. I have priced bulk vs bags and there’s no comparison! Also, bulk herbs are cheaper than those pressed into tablets (with what filler?) or even those made into capsules.

I also make my own capsules! I purchased a capsule machine in 2013 and I still have it and still use it. Some vitamins you can purchase in bulk and then, create your own capsules. Some powders do not make good capsules. This includes spirulina, chorella, and others. For chorella, I put it in a shaker and use it like it’s a seasoning.

Other powders you can add to smoothies. I do not really like smoothies but I  discovered this is a handy way to take Ashwagandha and similar herbs. I likely spelled that wrong, too. You can freeze strawberries, bananas, blueberries, etc, and use them in your smoothie. You can also add kale or other greens.

If you buy in bulk, make sure you get the right stuff. There’s a difference, for instance, between dandelion root and dandelion leaf. Be careful. Also, don’t overbuy. Make sure you have a place to store your herbs and don’t buy more than you’ll need in two years.

Fed up with my employer, ready to quit

Unbelievable. I took the Final Assessment for the onboarding for my job. This is not even necessary since I obviously know the material (being a prior agent) and they know it. I passed #1 with flying colors. #2 was so poorly designed (in the technical sense) and basically flawed that there’s no way most of us are going to pass no matter how well we know the material.

Get this. I put in a ticket saying the test was flawed and people were already complaining.  I do not think anyone is going to pass, and if anyone does, it’s not because they know the program but because they got lucky. I cannot believe the response I got to my ticket:

Hi Julie,

I am sorry you feel this way, but thank you for your message.


Agent Readiness Team

Can you believe that? They closed the ticket, too. This is so unprofessional I’m gonna scream. I can only conclude that yes, they do want their “agents” to succeed. They want the ones they like to succeed. The rest of us can go screw.

I can’t take this “job” anymore. It’s not a good employer and the program is so poorly run it’s a joke. People are rapidly quitting, too. I think I’ll be next.

Watching YouTubes on Scientology

As you can see, Sci is accused of “splitting up families” and “destroying lives.” They are accused of physical and verbal abusing members.

But…Doesn’t psychiatry do the exact same things? So if Sci is so evil, then we also have to call psychiatry “evil.”

I tend to avoid calling anything “evil” especially people. Still, sometimes, that which calls itself “religion” isn’t quite religion.

“Scientology takes away the chance for people to be who they are, to live their lives. It is a crime against humanity.”

A lot of the stuff these defectors say…just substitute the word “psychiatry” and you might get another true statement.

Why don’t the defectors from psychiatry speak louder? Psychiatry is a cult of the worst kind, worst because they are endorsed by the AMA and the government. People actually believe their “treatments” are not only safe and effective, but ethical and obligatory.

New Cast

Friday I went to the podiatrist. I had to take an Uber there. It has been taking a good half hour to get an Uber, at least, from here, since I’m far away from the city. I was able to do this, though, which worked out okay since this is not a trip I plan to take regularly.

This is the issue. I am able to walk on my foot just fine. I broke it in the heel, not really in the foot. However, the mid-foot hurts like heck and really, as I figured, it shouldn’t.

The podiatrist xrayed my foot at various angles and then, took a pic of my good foot for comparison. They were amazed that my fracture isn’t even visible anymore! I knew it would heal quickly but I really did not expect this!

However, my foot is sprained. Not my ankle but my foot, although there’s no fracture in my foot. The podiatrist put a cast on it, and now, I wear the cast inside the boot I already have. The main challenge is trying to shower! I can do it okay, as it turns out. I leave my bad leg outside the tub wrapped in plastic, and shower the rest of me. I must admit that having the cast on is far more comfortable than trying to walk without it.

Just call me resilient……

Group as usual

I’d like to say the room was silent, but it wasn’t. I could hear that obnoxious clock above the door, tick-tock, tick-toc, and Bobby chewing and snapping nicotine gum. Sandy, as usual, was crouched in the corner cooing to her Teddie. That must mean it’s time for group.


Oh. What is it now? Last time, they said checkers was too intellectually challenging for us. Maybe it is going to be Tic Tac Toe. Tim gets up and shuffled back and forth.

“Stop it, Timmy, will ya?” Bobby says. “Get out of the way. I’m trying to watch Jeopardy!”

“I can’t help it,” says Tim. “My medications make me do this.”

“You’re a liar.”

“Shut up, both of you,” I say. “That nurse is coming to do GROUP.”


Nurse Judy’s footsteps pound louder until she arrives, shutting the Group room door behind her. “Now, Patients,” she begins, “today you’re going to learn how to breathe. Breathing helps you cope when life is difficult. Hey, Tim, can you sit down, please?”

“He can’t!” says Bobby. “It is those drugs you give him!”

“Bobby, they’re called medications.”

“Tell Sandy to put her Teddie away. She’s acting like a baby.”

“Sandy uses her Teddie to cope. Tim apparently paces. What do you do, Bobby?”

He smiles at me, then, quickly gives the nurse the finger.

“Okay, Patients. Today we’re going to do deep breathing. Everyone sit like this. With your hands like this. Sit up straight in the chair.”

“I can’t. My meds make me sit crooked.”

“I said, sit up straight in the chair. Can’t you listen? Now everyone inhale. Like this. Mmmmm…. Can you do that? Now, hold you breath. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Okay, now, let it out, very slowly. That is how to breathe!”

Sandy giggles.

“Patients, let’s discuss this exercise. Time to process the experience. Can someone tell me why breathing is important?”

“So we can smoke,” said Bobby. Now you couldn’t argue with that.

“Why else is breathing important?”

“If you don’t breathe,” said Sandy, “They will call Security and make you.”

Keith, who had been silent until now, sneers from the back of the room. “Shut up, Sandy,” he says.

“Okay,” the nurse says, “I want all you patients to sign this paper saying you attended group.”

I’m often afraid to sign anything, so after Group is dismissed, I approach the nurse and ask her, “What is that paper for that we signed?”

“Don’t worry,” she says, “It is just for insurance. Nothing you have to worry about.”


“You do not have to think about that, Dear.  It’s so we can get  money from Medicare.”


I keep my eyes on the nurses these days. I won’t stop staring at that one, as she stomps down the corridor all the way into the nurses’ secret hideaway station.