Added chapters to Life After Lithium

I added a chapter to Life After Lithium called, “I gained weight from psych drugs. How do I safely take it off?”

I figure this is a common challenge, well worth exploring. In this chapter I will be warning against crash dieting and encouraging a few lifestyle changes that might help.

I am also adding a chapter on depression and insomnia. People with kidney disease are often also depressed because they become anemic.  I think many of the folks I knew in the hospitals were depressed and slowed down due to anemia. This is common  in college-age women, sometimes just from menstruating. I was anemic in my late teens. I don’t know the cause because my periods weren’t that heavy. The remedy shouldn’t be antidepressants, but helping to raise hemoglobin, iron levels, etc. No, having periods is not a mental disorder! (Thank you, Paula J Caplan!)

Kidney disease will cause insomnia and that also can contribute to overall exhaustion and depression. I have researched like crazy and have found some forgotten studies showing that antipsychotics will damage your body’s ability to make natural melotonin (as you continue to depend on the drugs). This is why people who stop anti-p drugs will often experience insomnia which can be long-lasting. There is likely glandular damage because your glands “think” they don’t have to produce melotonin anymore.

The recommended dose of melatonin is under 1mg, actually about 1/3 of a mg. I suspect that people who have been damaged by anti-p drugs will need a lot more melatonin supplementation…but I am not really sure about this yet.

I’m going to try a whopping dose of 20mgs melatonin to see if it helps. I’m not sure of the proper timing but experimentation might answer this question.


I was lucky enough to locate some pure chipotle in the supermarket. Chipotle isn’t just a style of cooking or the name of a fast-food restaurant. It is an actual seasoning. This is different from the various “chipotle blend” seasonings which might contain salt and other additives, even preservatives.

Plain chipotle is made from jalapeno pepper. They are smoked and that is what gives chipotle a smoky flavor. This stuff is delicious if sprinkled on a variety of foods. Gee, I never knew you could get it plain and unadulterated.

Funny pics

                                           Very spoiled! In this photo she knows I am almost done cooking her food!



This is my fridge right now. I just came home from buying groceries. I spent $169! I have never spent that much on groceries, ever. You would think I am wealthy! The reason why I can afford all this is because I do not go to restaurants or bars. Cook at home and save money! Now I wonder how on earth I will eat this much……

My comment on the Globe story

We have to realize that these abusers know the victims, who are psych patients, won’t be believed. Abuse by supposed “professionals” to those who have been psych diagnosed happens far more frequently than the general public could possibly know. Those I have known were terrified to come forward. Furthermore, it is extremely difficult to find an attorney to take on your case. The few attorneys who will even talk to abused patients ask, “But what is your diagnosis?” Then, it’s all over.

Back in 2013 or so I went to a therapist who seemed somewhat unconventional. Oddly, I never saw any other patients seeing him in the waiting room. During our third appointment he asked me out on a date. I declined. I left, feeling scared and also wondering if there was any hope left for humanity. Two days later I phoned him to ensure our subsequent appointments were canceled. His last words to me, over the phone, were, “I love you. Goodbye.” Then I was really glad I stopped this before it got worse.

I went to my psychiatrist and told her what happened. Maybe I shouldn’t have. She told me, “That is impossible. Then she said I was manic and needed more drugs. From what I have gathered my experience is rather typical.

Many thanks to the victims who have come forward and many thanks also to the attorneys and others who believed them. We need more of this.

Another sent to psych search: Keith Ablow, sexual abuse and exploitation of female patients

Yep, he was even on TV. No, I doubt this is a mass delusion……

I sent this one to psych search also.

And the walls come tumbling down, don’t they?

Sweating over the small stuff

I can’t tell  you how much I dislike the expression, “I don’t sweat over the small stuff.” This is supposedly an advertisement of good character. How many times have I seen this in those “profiles” on Match dot com and other dating sites? Aren’t we sick of this already? Interestingly, most everyone who boasts that they don’t sweat over the small stuff is lying.

What is “small stuff” anyway?  I’m going to be very concerned if you flippantly tell me your mother just died.

My employers all nitpick. All of them. I’m wondering if this is the way the world works. They can’t find anything really important to nag me about, so they tell me I filled out a form wrong. Geez. Remember how they told me my ballet shoes weren’t allowed?

Yesterday my supervisor was wearing a boob crack. Maybe I notice these things and other people do not. Maybe that is because I would never wear something low-cut unless I was going to be totally alone. Maybe supervisors can do whatever the heck they want and the regular employees are going to get the boot if they do the exact same thing.

I look back and recall psychiatry was about the same way. They had their human flaws but if we had the exact same flaws they claimed it was a mental illness. We got drugged, diagnosed, and incarcerated and they got promotions and vacations.

And the class divide continues……


On my reading list

I have this little trick I use to get through work. When I first started working in town, I brought a book with me (specifically, The Other Mrs Smith) but they told me I could not have any reading materials at my desk. I notice that my coworkers bring toy balls they toss into the air when they’re not taking calls, or play with children’s gadgets. While tossing a ball might help one’s agility and coordination, I know I would lose interest in that very quickly (and of course, drop the ball).

So I had to put away the book. I was disheartened. I do not like to waste even a minute of my time these days. Life is precious. How could I get around this?

I had recently purchased Bruce Levine’s book called Resisting Illegitimate Authority. I found out how to print out Kindle books. Now Kindle books are DRM-protected, but I learned how to get around the DRM so I could print out the book onto printer paper. Now, I had pages of this document which I bring, piece by piece, to work. I slip the pages into my work notebook, a loose-leaf notebook full of instructions for us phone agents.

Now, I defy authority as I sit there reading Bruce’s  book. Not only do I love the book but I am living anti-authoritarianism. Yes it is worth a chuckle or two. I’m about halfway through now and have already reviewed it on Amazon. You can go check out my review if you would like.

I love writing more than I love reading, because sometimes reading seems too passive to me. But I would rather sit and read than sit and watch TV or otherwise waste time. I used to bring books to read or bring my knitting when I had to wait in a shrink’s waiting room because I didn’t want to waste my mind mindlessly sitting there. Or I brought my writing.

What do people do in waiting rooms? Sit there like zombies watching the tube (which advertises all kinds of “ask your doctor” type stuff) or read some magazine there, either consumer medical propaganda or children’s mags.  “How to manage your blood pressure.” Hmm…maybe exercise or stop the drugs that cause it?

Or they sit there and talk to their spouses. I hear so often, “Why don’t you listen to the doctor, dear?” and that makes me sad. Elders helping each other ambulate. Husbands who carry their wives’ pocketbooks because they no longer have the strength to carry them themselves. I find this terribly depressing.

Many play with their cellular telephones, playing games on the phones or checking Facebook. I generally don’t recall people blasting music into their ears in waiting rooms, ruining their hearing…..

I remember some of those larger waiting rooms with many people in them. I used to look around and noted I was the only one doing something constructive. Some people fell asleep, bored or tired from the drugs.

The last time I was in a waiting room of any sort was when I was waiting to see someone I was consulting about my tax return. That wasn’t depressing like a doctor waiting room. I wonder why.

Next on my reading list is Joanna Moncrieff’s The Bitterest Pills. I am hoping to find the specific mechanism that causes antipsychotic drugs to wreck a person’s ability to sleep. Which organ do they damage? If I could find this out I could work on healing it. Right now I am just grasping at straws and very tired of that approach. “Brain damage” is too vague for me. Is it in the endocrine system? I would like answers at this point and so I can devise a way to tackle this. I don’t see any answers on in the drug withdrawal forums and I do not think, in this instance, that simply tapering off the drugs will effectively bring back one’s ability to sleep. I think one needs to know what was damaged. If I knew I could work on healing it directly.

Another theory about disability payments

I think permanent disability is sometimes warranted, but obviously it is being awarded (awarded?) to too many people.

Some people may benefit from temporary disability that is time-limited. I think of it as that semester taken off to regroup, or the time a person spends out of work but plans to return. If the payments were temporary in more cases instead of auto-renewing, then  the government would not be paying out as much money.

Then, the payments would be larger each month since there would be fewer recipients.

A pregnant woman should be able to take time off or have reduced hours depending on the type of work she does. I cannot imagine sitting at a desk eight hours a day does any good for one’s pregnancy. Or trying to work at a workplace where chemicals are heavily used, such as doing cleaning work or hairdressing. This should be paid time off.

If a person chooses psych disability it should be time-limited. It already is, but it shouldn’t be so easy to renew it. Along with the renewal should be an independent review of whether the “treatments” are causing the disability.

For instance, the claim by someone with back pain, whether provable or not, should be reviewed to see if the painkillers and multitude of drugs given are causing the person to get worse.

Will this ever happen? Not likely. The aim is to marginalize anyone the elite class considers inferior, to stop us from having children through coercion, force, or drug damage, to ghettoize us, shorten our lives, imprison us, force us into exile, keep us out of the workforce, and silence us. And let’s not forget…outright kill us.

Go read the definition of genocide. Yes it fits.


Check it out! Dr. David Brendel on PsychSearch!

Here is the link:

David Brendel, Belmont Psychiatrist, suspended – sexual relationship with a former patient

Guess who contributed this one to Psych Search? Ha ha ha.

If I’m turning into one of psychiatry’s worst enemies, then I can add that to my accomplishment list on my resume.

Yes, send the article to Psych Search was legal. It was publicly available information. Of course, now it’s even more public.